A filmmaker dreams of a fighter pilot flying an alien spacecraft to a mother ship in near Earth orbit to upload a computer virus from a laptop and makes a movie called Independence Day. As a writer, producer and director, he attempts to terrify audiences (but mostly succeeds in drawing laughs) with a swarm of baby Godzillas hatching in Madison Square Garden by remaking (some would say recycling), Godzilla. He concocts a doomsday scenario with victims struggling inside a frozen New York City Public Library in The Day After Tomorrow.
The same man inexplicably thought there was actual commercial potential in watching half clad caveman warriors chase a CGI sabertooth tiger in 10,000 BC. (There was, more than a quarter of a billion dollars worth.)
A man, who apparently can't be stopped.
That man is Roland Emmerich and he's already started doing everything in his power to try to scare the bejesus out of you by trotting out ancient Mayan writings and a thing called the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar end-date. For those of you not yet filling your heads with historical movie hype, some interpret all of that to suggest the Mayans were pointing to December 21, 2012 as the last day of time. Yeah, all time. Bummer for anyone planning movies for 2013 but not bad if you're trying to book a room on NYE in times square.
So what do all of those film titles up there have in common? Mr. Emmerich, perhaps suffering from repressed feelings toward not having enough live fireworks to play with as a kid, has taken to absolutely adoring the destruction of all things "landmark" around the world, imagining their utter destruction inside a computer. In particular, a therapist could probably blow through a year of sessions just digging into his fascination with destroying Air Force One and the White House. But kids, we have to ask, is this really an excuse for making a movie?
The answer to that one is simpler than keeping an RV on the road as it's getting its ass blown off by meteorites (another Emmerich staple havoc wreaker), which, going by the trailer, is entirely doable.
The reason for all of this movie mayhem is money. Lots and lots of money. In just adding up the films mentioned above, Mr. Emmerich has been responsible for two billion dollars in worldwide grosses. Ahhh, now there's a reason to make another movie. Bring on the doomsday prophecies, baby needs a new Maserati.
There's a catch though. No ticket sales, no money. Squandered production and marketing budgets can send just as strong a signal as money flowing like an uncontrollable sluice all over the Sony Columbia lot. So dear readers and fellow moviegoers - it is, as always, up to you.
This year, you've already sent strong signals to Will Ferrell for his idea-dipping into saturday morning television by making Land of the Lost the most aptly titled film of the summer. You barely forked over dollar one to Jack Black's Neanderthal Year One. You gave a giant "I'll have another" to The Hangover, which will now surely hangover for a sequel. And you raced out to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen so quickly, the backdraft may actually have sucked audiences away faster than any number one opener this summer.
So now we invite you to go watch the trailer for 2012 on Moviedozer.com by clicking anywhere in this sentence. When you have your fill, click the link back and leave us your comments. You won't actually have to make up your mind until November, but will you pay to see this movie? We're already anxious to see who's looking forward to the end of the world... at least inside your local cineplex.