So just who is this Indiana Jones and what makes him tick? Why will so many flock to theaters to welcome him like a long lost adventuring friend? How will he snap his whip and fix all that is wrong with summer movies this season? Everyone under the sun who makes a living (or pretends to) writing about the movie business, will be offering their considered and redundant opinions on these and all of the other pressing questions that writing deadlines can conjure. Bottom line... who gives the crack of a bullwhip? Unlike a few of you out there that are gluttons for spoilers in movie reviews, most of us want to read as little as possible about the goings on in Raider's country until we've dropped our ten bucks and plopped down in a seat as close to center and as far from the kiddies as possible. There we can sit back, let 19 years of distance fade to black and let the fedora'd one wash over us with self deprecating wise cracks and sinister adventure. How can you not want to go see this movie?
So here's all we have to say...
1. Paramount execs are going to be enjoying their biggest weekend of the decade so if you happen to see one, give them lots of space, they're likely to be blasted and unable to operate large machinery. Between Indy & Iron Man, it's been quite a month.
2. If you work at Paramount, Friday is the day to be asking for a raise.
3. Indy will clear the 98 million mark and become this year's biggest weekend opener. And this from folks who really don't care for making predictions.
4. As George Lucas warned, we're betting, after all the hoopla subsides (and don'tcha ya just love hoopla?) most of us will indeed be the least little bit disappointed, thinking that it could have been just a little better if only... (fill in the reason you think applies on Monday).
5. We'll still all be glad they made it. We'll still be glad Harrison & Karen got to do it. And most of us will be praying that there's no set-up for Shia to carry the franchise any further.
So go grab that cheap souvenir Fedora you bought back in '81 or '84 or '89, find a leather jacket, any leather jacket and go to the movies this weekend. And if Indy really doesn't make your whip snap, try something else and let us know about it.
By the way, it may be Indy's fourth outing in movie theaters, but this column is also Moviedozer Dailies' 50th post. Thanks to all of our regular readers and to all of the fans of Moviedozer.com. We're looking forward to lots more. See you next week.
Photo of Mr. Ford and Ms. Allen is courtesy of WireImage.com.