Thursday, May 1, 2008

Spike Lee's next Joint... mind numbing marketing.

We were just about to sit down and write a piece on the debut of Blockbuster Summer '08's big opening weekend and Iron Man, the film set to dominate the first week of this season (and many thereafter). One of our morning rituals is to check for new Movie Video feeds that appear on the right column of this blog and there our plans changed. We've thought we'd seen it all. Well, not really.

Hand-held "shaky camera cinema" is one of our favorite rants at We've got a few, but this one's definitely high on the list. When Brian De Palma held news conferences last year to hype his anti-war flick Redacted, he defended the handi-cam BS as a "creative" decision that brought realism and a sense that the lousy camera quality was somehow authentic to the story. Our favorite nutty Uncle George (Lucas) has spouted to anyone in the press that will listen, that everyone someday will be shooting on consumer grade cameras. J.J. Abrams' monster flick Cloverfield was so insanely shaky for it's entire length that audiences were actually suffering from motion sickness. (As a side note, the genius auteur has hyped the DVD as being a much better way to view the film than the theater. At least on a smaller screen you may not feel the urge to puke. Then again, you should, after you start dwelling on the fact that you got sucked into going to the movies to see a film the producer says works better as a video.) So what could possibly top handi-cams for claiming the top spot on the idiocy in moviemaking list.

Let us let Spike Lee tell you.

Stunning. Go ahead, watch that first part again. There. Right there, with a straight face no less, the man is telling you he's going to make a movie using you're next door neighbors cell phone. I swear we didn't somehow fake this interview. That's really the Wall Street Journal logo on there. Take a moment. Step away from the computer, take a deep breath. We're sorry to have dumped this on you unexpectedly.

In this age of YouTube videos of crickets humping shot by drunken morons (no, don't go looking for it, we did make that up), Spike Lee has ascended the asshole list. Can anyone anywhere on this planet or any other, believe even for an instant that this is anything more than a marketing scheme for Nokia to get in on the YouTube/American Idol fads? Is there anyone anywhere, after only a nanosecond of thought, that can't see Mr. Lee -
1. Did this strictly for wads of cash.
2. Suffers from a gaping void in the "i" section of his soul's dictionary where the word "integrity" should be.
3. Will have free Nokia cellphones for life. And...
4. Is an idiot.

Let the stupid people of the world unite. Go start shooting your cellphone videos and rush right out to upload them to your new leader. And for the rest of us, we've all just been handed a very convenient flag that marks people who are likely too imbecilic to associate with. It's that Nokia cellphone their holding up to their face.

We'll get back to Iron Man's debut and the start of Blockbuster Summer '08 next. Right now we're off to brew a very strong cup of coffee.

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